Reflections: Have, Do, Be

The “Have, Do, Be” Paradigm Shift

People tend to think that if they HAVE all the things that they desire, that they’ll be able to DO everything they want to do and that they’ll BE happy.

HAVE–>DO–>BE

As a society we focus on making enough money to HAVE the lifestyle we desire (DO) thinking that this will make us happy (BE). Yet we all know that things don’t make us happy, and neither does a lifestyle that we think we’re supposed to have. The road to happiness requires shifting this paradigm. By focusing on BEing happy, letting our actions come from a place of happiness (DO) and the things that matter end up giving us what we truly desire (HAVE).

BE–>DO–>HAVE

I’ve done my fair share of meditation on this thought and am constantly reminding myself to make BE-DO-HAVE my mantra. In 2009, in Mark Maier’s “Leading As A Way of Serving” class I was first introduced to the idea. In that semester, I learned to appreciate WHO I was over what I was going to DO or HAVE in life. Among many others, this is a life lesson that I would never have imagined to learn in a college classroom. Maybe because Mark’s idea of a classroom was a Buddhist retreat in the San Bernardino Mountains, a local ropes course, or simply parked underneath a giant shade tree. There is plenty of material on the HAVE-DO-BE paradigm shift online if you’re interested in further reading… but the idea is simple. In fact, you don’t have to DO anything. Just Be.

Live your life true to your values and beliefs.

Let your behaviors follow.

Just Be. (HAPPY).

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Momma Meg Loves: The GLOW, and other websites.

Inspired By Mrs. Brittany Driver over at Let’s Nest… to share some of my favorite Mommy Websites.

The Glow – I loved reading these short celebrity interviews while I was pregnant. When I was first referred by a friend I thought I would find these mommas to be too fashionable for even myself. Even moreso, I was worried that I would covet their uber expensive taste in toys, clothes and gear. I was pleasantly surprised that lots of these celebs are at least portrayed as normal Mommas… balancing work, love and kiddos. “The Glow is a glimpse into the world of inspiring and fashionable moms. Here you’ll find their styling ideas, go-to gear, multitasking secrets, and enviable decor.” Check it out. There are some gorgeous photos and great nursery inspiration!

The Bump – I frequented this website more often during pregnancy. Loved the different list features (confessions of a list-a-holic). Lots of registry tips, lists of what to take to the hospital, message boards, etc.

Total Baby iPhone App – I lived and breathed through this iPhone app during the first few months of pregnancy. It makes tracking feedings, diapers, and sleeping SO much easier. Especially in those first few weeks when you’re probably so tired you can’t remember your own name, much less what side you started or finished on last time you fed the baby. I’ll admit, I was a little bit obsessive about timing EVERY SINGLE FEEDING, documenting EVERY SINGLE DIAPER, and celebrating EVERY SLEEP TIMER that reached the 4 hour mark! Great charts and graphs to help you see a pattern with feedings/sleep although slightly discouraging when that “pattern” you saw in week 4 completely disappears in week 5. I’m sure this is totally normal first-time-momma behavior but someone should have sat me down, at around 5 weeks… and told me that I was being just slightly neurotic and that the app was no longer necessary. $4.99 in the iTunes store. Definitely worth it. Just be aware of the possibility of addiction.

Green Baby Guide – Lots of great tips on ways for our little family to live a green-er lifesyle. Love the budget-friendly theme. Fun blog to follow for simple ideas on living a more organic lifestyle.

Tiny Choices – Similar to Green Baby Guide, I’ve found some great ideas on here for budget-friendly and green alternatives to traditional parenting methods.

Are any of you mommas members of Holistic Moms Network? What are your thoughts on attachment parenting? Extended Breast Feeding? Cloth Diapering? Hot-topics among members of this network… I’m thinking it would be a great resource.

I’m very much comfortable in the gray. I believe that no method of parenting needs absolutes. I’ve adopted pieces of many styles that I’ve observed and read balancing with my own maternal intuition.

Junk in the Trunk

The other day, I was inspired to get crackin’ on some of the organizational projects on my to-do list. I was over at a friend’s house and noticed a list of “clutter zones” typed and posted on her bulletin board. She had scratched a few of these areas off the list, noting that they had been DE-CLUTTERED. A bit of a list-junkie myself (see here and here)… I came home and created a very similar (and I might add… much longer) list of Clutter Zones. Where did I start? The ever-so-necessary “junk” drawer. Everyone has one. Everyone needs one. But it CAN be organized. The real question is… Will it stay organized?

I thought it might be fun to share some of the most interesting finds… even some treasures… buried deep in the depths of the junk!

Tiny tape measure
Macy’s magnifying ruler + name tag
Single-serve Green Vibrance packet
Bowl of miscellaneous buttons
Bowl of Keys (no clue what most of them unlock)
2 sets of headphones
Tiny fingernail scissors
Origins Peace-of-Mind Headache relief cream
Postcard stamps
6 mini hand sanitizer bottles from Bath & Body Works
An extra iphone charger
Rayban Wayfarers
Meddlesome Moth Coaster with 2012 New Years Resolutions + Predictions from NYE dinner with friends hand-written on back.

3 pair of scissors
Photobooth pics from a wedding in 2011
Deck of Texas playing cards
Emily’s graduation picture
Tide to-go stick
Quick Grip
Extra car keys (including keys to my Jeep Liberty that we sold over a year ago)
Various pens, sharpies, notepads and rubber bands.
Old business cards
2 claritin redi-tabs
Miscellaneous left over gift cards (those pesky ones that have $3.12 on them)
A $100 gift certificate to Bass Performance Hall
Some box tops for education
An extra digital camera battery
A wine cork
A magic rock from Brother Gorham

And there it is… the finished product. All organized.

I think I’ll tackle the junk in the trunk of my car next. Somehow I doubt that will be blog-worthy.

Where are your clutter zones?

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In the Kitchen: Texas Salsa

While we were living in SoCal, I introduced Daniel to the wonderful world of Baja Mexican food. It was love at first bite. And now I’m living with the harshest of critics when it comes to salsa, guacamole and chicken tacos. This recipe was concocted in Texas, for Daniel – who can’t imagine a world without chips + salsa.

Megan’s Texas Salsa

28 oz. Can Diced Tomatoes

1/2 t. Chopped Garlic

1 t. red pepper flakes

1/2 t. salt

2 t. white wine vinegar

1/2 c. chopped cilantro (more. if desired… And Daniel always does)

2-3 jalepenos, chopped and seeded

Blend all ingredients in food processor or blender to desired consistency.

Note: This makes a pretty large batch but it definitely lasts in the refrigerator for a few weeks (in fact, it’s definitely tastier after it sits for 6-12 hours).

Reflections: Live the Life You’ve Imagined

We all have things we say we’re going to do but know we’ll never get around to. When I was pregnant, I had high hopes for having more time to “DO” once I was a full-time stay at home momma. I even dreamed up a list of “Post Peanut Projects” that I hoped to accomplish in the first year. Who knew it would be so difficult balancing fun + entertaining activities for the baby with productivity + projects. No longer can I clean the entire house in one day. Liv will not allow it. She’ll sit patiently or hang in the exersaucer while I clean one room… maybe two. Never the entire house. I’m slowly figuring out how to “stay on top of it” and wiggle in one project at a time. I’m reminded of a quote that I first came across when reading, Mark Albion’s “Making a Life, Making a Living” in college.

The first step is to stop doing what is making (you) unhappy. Next (you) have to act on (your) desire for change. – Mark Albion

In no way am I unhappy. In fact, mommy-hood is the most amazing and wonderful experience of my life. I can truthfully say; I enjoy it more and more each day, even on the bad ones (and there are bad ones). That being said, I need to make a better effort (<—See, that’s me taking responsibility) at planning less and doing more.

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I’ve mentioned before that I come from a long line of planners + calendar-a-holics. Most influentially, my mom. This past week left me with a whole new appreciation for her. Daniel was out of town for the better half of the week/weekend at a Microsoft conference in Seattle (Actually, Redmond, WA). To say I’m excited for him to be home this afternoon is an understatement. Just in case you don’t really know me or my family…. I’m the oldest of 4 – my brother Christopher (24) and sisters Bethany (21) Emily (19) and I are all between 18 mo. and 2 years apart. Growing up, I had NO idea what this meant for my mom. My dad is a top executive with a major retailer and has always traveled a lot (we’re talking 3 to 4 out of 5 nights a week) but still managed to coach little league on the weekends. My mom juggled 4 under 8 years old… multiple car seats… diapers…all of that laundry and grocery shopping. I just can’t fathom. And we were always doing fun + educational stuff (especially during the summer) – going to the beach, zoo, library, etc. She’s also one of the most creative do-ers I know. I could write an entire post about how amazing a mother my mom is but I’ll save that for Mother’s Day 2013 and just say “I don’t know how you did it mom – You’re my hero.”

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Mom Life: Who Wears Short Sorts?

On top of dressing my 5+lb “new mom body”, (Read: slightly lumpy) I’m feeling like lots of my old stand-by outfits and favorite pieces are no longer (as) appropriate for #momlife. I know, I know. At 26, and size 2-4, it’s still perfectly appropriate (mom or not) for me to wear short(er) shorts. Yet I’m finding that some of my pre-baby purchases make me feel like I look like the nanny instead of the mommy. I’m finding it challenging to maintain my personal style and feel like I’m dressing appropriately for this new phase of life. How did you first-time mommas resolve this conundrum?

Summer in Texas requires the following summer essentials: shorts, tanks, lightweight dresses + skirts. Darling as all of the cropped, colored and printed jean trend is, it’s just not practical July through September here. Unless you work/play exclusively indoors… but even still… I say you’re crazy.

While shopping for shorts, the following considerations were important to me:

Pre-baby I felt comfortable in the shortest of shorts and since I’m not ready to go the bermuda or “walking-short” route (At least not until I want to look 30) I was determined to find a perfect-fit short-short or boyfriend-style silhouette.
Not wanting to forgo the printed trend, I was looking for a print that I wouldn’t get tired of after 2 wears and that paired well with neutral tops
Denim is great. But then there’s that 100+ degree temperature issue to consider. Lightweight materials were key.

Madewell ArtDot Shorts $59.50

Perfect with a Chambray popover or brightly colored lightweight tee or tank. These Madewell ArtDot Shortsfit at the natural waist, on the shorter side of short, but a great fit. I opted for the black and cream version of these shorts but the burnt orange is pretty adorable too! Buy Here

JCrew 3″ Chino ON SALE $29.99

A great stand-by, JCrew 3″ Chino Shorts (offered in 4″or 5″ also) are a fantastic, comfortable and colorful option. Buy Here

Zara Floral Shorts $39.90

I fell in love with these Zara Floral Shorts – ultimately too short for me, but I felt I should include them because they’re such a great print, good fit, and reasonably priced! Buy Here

Target Printed Cotton Shorts $17.99

I purchased these Mossimo Tie-Dye Cotton Shorts at the beginning of summer and have pretty much lived in them. The fit is definitely more like PJs than anything else – But pockets in the back make them feel substantial enough to wear out running errands or as a cover-up. Buy Here in multiple prints.

Madewell Seawall Shorts ON SALE $44.99

Purchased these Madewell Seawall Shorts yesterday ON SALE! I’m imagining them with lightweight button-up and casual sandals or crocheted tank. I’m a sucker for an elastic waist… because on most days, comfort outweighs style. Buy Here

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Momma Meg Loves: Summer Favorites

La Croix Coconut Sparkling Water

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La Croix Coconut Sparkling Water – I. AM. ADDICTED. This is SO much more than a flavored sparkling water… it’s like vacation… in a can. Like a pina colada with zero calories (and no artificial sweeteners). I guess I should emphasize – THIS IS NOT SODA. Daniel reaches for it every time I open a can, takes a swig, immediately makes the most disappointed/disgusted face + tells me it tastes like suntan lotion. I assure you, it does not. That being said, this beverage will not appeal to soda junkies. Would be fantastic in a mixed drink – Maybe Rum + Lime. Or skip the rum and just add lime. Totally refreshing and wonderful. Frequently on sale at Target but I hear they sell it at Costco.

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Frozen Grapes – My go-to, healthy, refreshing, summer snack. They’re like little mini grape-flavored popsicle bites- frozen and delicious. And EASY – it’s as simple as removing the grapes from the stem, tossing in a freezer bag, freeze overnight + enjoy. Perfect to take to the pool. Just eat ’em before they defrost. Which isn’t hard… because they’re so delicious you’ll gobble ’em up pretty darn fast.

Bumble & Bumble Surf Spray

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Bumble & Bumble Surf Spray – Summer in Texas can be miserable. Just the thought of heat styling my hair makes me feel disgusting and sweaty. Plus, I’d rather imagine myself 18, driving down PCH, with a salty, stickiness in my air-dried hair only achieved by a good dunk in the pacific ocean. Luckily, with a few spritzes of B&B Surf Spray, I’m good to go – fresh out of the shower. No electricity needed. Well, except the A/C. $24 for 4oz Buy Here or in stores Here

Elta MD UV Clear SPF 46 Moisturizer

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Elta MD UV Clear SPF 46 Moisturizer – Really this is a year-round necessity, but Summer-time always heightens my awareness of the importance of protecting my skin against sun damage. This moisturizer is a bit of a splurge but is really great if you have acne prone skin or oily-tendencies. I usually mix with Laura Mercier Oil Free Supreme Foundation to create my own version of the tinted moisturizer. (Laura Mercier offers a tinted moisturizer, but it only offers SPF 20 and you can basically get the same effect by mixing foundation + moisturizer and even save a little bit!) That’s my 2 cents… Nice, lightweight coverage + protection. For Elta MD -Ask a dermatologist or Buy Here

Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer

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Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer – I have a secret love for creating my own concoctions and cocktails of products. I already mentioned a sort-of DIY tinted moisturizer recipe. I’ve also been known to purchase this Jergens lotion in the “tan to dark” shade (I’m pretty fairly complected) and mix with Aveeno Daily moisturizer with SPF. Again Protection + a hint of tint. and Cost effective. Buy Here or Here ($23/3pk)

Note: With a 5 month old baby – rare are the days that I actually put lotion on my legs… or makeup on my face for that matter.

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Olivia: 5 Months

5 Months

15.2 Pounds

25 Inches

Size: “6 month”, Size 2 Diapers

Nicknames: Sneekle Freetzie (AKA Snickle Fritz), Liv, LiverDude, Peanut, OKP

Loves…

The Skip Hop Tree Top Play Mat

The Baby Einstein Exersaucer (AKA “The Disc”)

Sophie the Giraffe and Sophie “Chewie”

The “Liv, Liv, Liv” Song

The Belly Button Song

Reading before bedtime, especially “Where’s Spot?”

Going to the Aquarium

Swimming

“Longtime Sunshine” Song

Bath Time, Baby Massage, Bed Time

Putting fingers, hands, and feet in her mouth.

Interested in food and drinks, wants to put everything in her mouth

The flying baby game

any type of baby wearing: Bjorn, peanut sling (finally!)

Pulling mom’s hair

Cranks…

getting in the carseat

being in the stroller for long enough for mom to shop

watching mom blog

watching dad study

staying up past 9:00pm

watching mom + dad eat dinner

Milestones:

Almost sitting up alone

Meeting cousins Rylie + Remie for the first time

First trip to the Lake with Bilbo/McElyea/Darley fam

Sleeping 5+ hour stretch at night, occasionally 8+

First Fourth of July

First Bubble Bath

Swim Diapers Size S/P finally fit!

Wore Vans tennies for the first time

Stuck tongue out and made a funny face

Getting a little furrier! More blondish red hair coming in…

Went to the nursery at Church for the first time

Daily Routine:

7:30 Wake Up, Nurse

10:00 Nurse

11:00 Nap (30 min – 1hr)

1:00 Nurse

3:00 Nap (1hr-2hrs)

4:00 Nurse

7:00 Nurse

8:00 Read books in bed with Mom + Dad

8:30 Bathtime, Lotion and Massage, “Jammies”

9:00 Nurse, Songs, Prayers*

*In the process of pushing the whole night-time routine up to 7:00 pm… slowly shaving a few minutes off every night

In the Kitchen: South of the Border Fettucini

Aunt Mary’s South of the Border Fettucini

To say there are some great cooks in my family would be an understatement. This is one of my favorite creations from my Aunt Mary McElyea. I’ve come to always stock the ingredients in my pantry just in case I get a hankering. South of the Border Fettucini is one of my go-to week night dinners; Relatively healthy and inexpensive, I guarantee you’ll love it.

4T. Butter (Cut this in half for a healthier version or use Earth Balance – it’s just as delicious)

1/2 T. garlic, minced

1C. diced tomatoes

1/2 C. canned black beans

1/4 C. sliced black olives (I don’t think these were included in the original recipe… so if you’re not a fan of olives- Omit)

1 whole roasted chicken, meat removed and chopped (Can substitute 3-4 grilled chicken breasts – I find it so much easier and just as inexpensive to buy a pre-roasted chicken)

1/4 C. white wine

1/4 C. chicken stock (I use “Better than Bouillon” Chicken Stock” mixed with some of the leftover pasta water)

1C. chopped cilantro (or more)

1T. chopped, seeded fresh jalepeno

8 oz. Spicy fettuccini (al dente Three Peppercorn Fettucini) (DO NOT SUBSTITUTE! This pasta makes the dish!) Buy Online Here or my local Albertson’s and Central Market carry it.

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In medium saucepan, heat butter. Add tomato, half the cilantro, black beans, jalapeño and garlic. Saute 3 to 5 minutes. Add chicken, wine and stock and simmer until reduced by 1/4. Add salt and pepper to taste. In a large pot, cook pasta. DO NOT OVERCOOK! This pasta only takes 3 to 5 minutes to cook! Do not rinse. Just before serving toss all together and add the rest of the cilantro.

South of the Border Fettucini

Note: This is a VERY forgiving recipe….sometimes I use canned tomatoes, sometimes fresh. Very easy to omit the wine and/or chicken stock and just add the can of diced tomatoes with their juices for a slightly healthier option. Daniel almost always makes me add more cilantro, because he’s kinda a cilantro nut!

Amazon Mom: Is it worth it to Subscribe and Save?

I’m curious if any of you mommas out there buy into the “Amazon Mom” program. To my understanding, the structure of the program has recently changed. What used to be a free year subscription, available to mothers (dads too!) is now only a 3-month trial offer. The Amazon Mom trial offer includes:

20% off Select Diapers & Wipes with Subscribe & Save (automatic delivery)
Free 2-day shipping with Amazon Prime
Exclusive deals & promotions

So basically, once the 3-month trial period ends, you are automatically enrolled in Amazon Prime + Amazon Mom and charged $79 annually to enjoy the same benefits in addition to movie streaming & kindle books.

Pampers Swaddlers Size 2, 186 ct. at Sam’s Club for $39.98 (21 cents per diaper)

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vs.

With Amazon Mom “20% off select diapers and wipes” (Free 2-day shipping)

Pampers Swaddlers Size 2, 204 ct. with Amazon Mom for $37.75 (19 cents per diaper) vs. $47.19 (23 cents per diaper)

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The savings difference is approximately $4.00. Annual Savings around $50… Only ordering diapers. But since you pay $79 to be annually enrolled (just like you purchase a membership to Sam’s or Costco) my gut tells me that it doesn’t make sense to enroll unless you’re planning to do all of your bulk goods shopping on amazon.com. (I could definitely buy these things in bulk: Jergen’s Natural Glow Lotion, Peet’s Major Dickason Coffee, Sea Salt Kettle Chips) In some ways, I think online warehouse shopping might help me exercise some self-restraint… I always come home from Costco/Sam’s $200+ later with items I had no intention or need for buying.

Any thoughts? Do you Subscribe & Save? Are you an Amazon Mom?

Note: A 5% discount using “Subscribe & Save” is available (with Super Save Free Shipping) without Amazon Prime + Amazon Mom.

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